What happens on a Junto Men’s Work retreat?
A candid and comprehensive answer by Andrew Horn, founder of the Junto
“The most important thing people will walk away from this weekend with is an ability to live and lead with deeper integrity.”
ANDREW HORN, FOUNDER
People often ask me, what will someone actually get out of the Junto retreat? What is it all about?
This post is my attempt to answer that question in a succinct and comprehensive way.
I will start high level and make it as simple as possible.
The most important thing people will walk away from this weekend with is the ability to live and lead with deeper integrity.
Not integrity as some abstract value, but integrity as a tangible three-part practice of knowing yourself, being yourself, and keeping your agreements.
For me, the practice of integrity is the most essential skill for powerful leadership, meaningful relationships, and a truly fulfilling life.
Here’s the belief underneath this focus…
If we commit to this practice of integrity, no matter what shape our life takes, no matter the successes we achieve or the failures that happen, we will be able to look back and know that we did our best. That we did all we could. In that, we find true peace and self-respect. We know that we made the most of our lives and owned the work that was ours to do.
So what do we mean when we say know yourself, be yourself, and keep your agreements?
Here is a breakdown of each pillar, along with some of the major skills you will learn in each area.
STEP 1 KNOW YOURSELF
Knowing yourself is about identity and self-awareness.
The identity model of change posits that it is not our strategies or goals that ultimately dictate behavior. At the end of the day, it is our sense of self. This is why how we answer the question, “Who am I?”, is one of the most important things we can do on the growth path.
Here are some of the skills you will explore in this pillar:
Define your core values.
Clarify your life vision with GPS - goals, purpose, skills.
Remember the objective and empowering proof of who you have already been.
Identify and integrate the hidden shame and limiting beliefs that hold you back.
You will learn about relational identities and how your sense of self has been unconsciously conditioned through your relationships, especially with Dad.
Most importantly, we introduce our process of Emotional Inquiry to help men connect more deeply with their emotions as one of the most real and true aspects of self they can ever access and share with others.
Being yourself is about communication and telling the truth constructively.
Once you know who you are, how do you express that person to the world?
This section is about helping men master the tangible tools that allow them to be radically authentic and effective in their personal and professional lives…especially when it is hard.
You will learn how to take full responsibility for the quality of your relationships with the Drama Triangle.
You will learn how to take the charge out of false stories, judgments and thoughts that make you reactive.
You will learn objective, non-violent communication and how to tell the truth constructively.
You will learn how to clear resentment and things you are withholding with the “clearing model.”
You will learn how to set the container for constructive conflict and candid feedback.
Our emphasis on communication and relational leadership is one of the things that truly sets our retreat apart from other men’s retreats.
This work is not theoretical. We do not just talk about better communication; we practice it. A significant portion of the weekend is spent in real, meaningful conversations, often with the very people you have been avoiding or the conversations you have been postponing.
We create the structure, support, and accountability for you to step into those moments with clarity, courage and clear communication.
I believe the life we want is oftentimes waiting on the other side of the conversations we are not having. The promotion, the repaired relationship, the boundary, the deeper intimacy, the self-respect, they tend to live just beyond the discomfort we have been unwilling to face.
This section of the retreat is designed to help you cross that threshold.
You will not leave with abstract insight alone. You will leave having said the thing, cleared the resentment, expressed the appreciation, or drawn the line.
STEP 2 BE YOURSELF
STEP 3 Keep Your Agreements
After you know who you are and how to express yourself, keeping your agreements is about alignment and follow-through.
It is about making conscious commitments and honoring them. It is about closing the gap between your words and your actions.
In this section, you will learn the following skills:
Learn how to inspire action with objective agreements, instead of vague intentions.
How to create an integrity audit that identifies all of the habits that are required for you to be in alignment with your values (persona,l professional, relationally)
Gain clarity about the places you are withholding or avoiding difficult conversations.
Learn how to repair broken agreements, take ownership and reclaim integrity without guilt, shame, or blame.
People often ask about the methodologies that have most influenced the Junto Method. Here are some of the wisdom traditions we pull from.
Gestalt awareness practice (emotional inquiry)
Nonviolent communication
Conscious leadership
Handel Life Coaching Framework
The Work by Byron Katie
Landmark education
Neuro linguistic programming.
“I believe the life we want is oftentimes waiting on the other side of the conversations we are not having.”
ANDREW HORN, FOUNDER
What happens after the weekend?
We believe deeply in aiming for behavior change, not just momentary state change. To support that, there is a strong emphasis on helping participants sustain their growth long after they leave the retreat.
Every man who attends the Junto has the opportunity to join a free weekly reintegration men’s group with other participants. These groups meet for one to two hours each week to explore the topics from the weekend at a deeper level. While our core curriculum runs for eight weeks, some of these groups have continued for years.
If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.
In addition to the men’s groups, all retreat participants gain access to an alumni network that is engaged and consistently sharing resources, opportunities, and requests for support across modern men’s work, entrepreneurship, leadership, and everything in between. It is an ethical and ambitious group of men supporting one another in becoming the best version of themselves.
How we think about “Men’s Work”
On a deeper level, I hope the Junto contributes something meaningful to the long lineage of men’s groups and retreats, such as The ManKind Project, Everyman, and so many others. Throughout history, rites of passage sought to establish a set of ideals or values that a man would step into in order to embody manhood in a responsible and contributory fashion.
While this top down hierarchy made sense in tribal civilizations hundreds of years ago, I no longer believe it is required for society to thrive.
At the Junto, we don’t believe anyone can tell you what it means to be a good man, a good person, or anything else.
That’s for you and you alone to do.
Our community is here to hold up the mirror and help you look at yourself clearly. To ask the most important questions about who you are, why you are here, and what you truly want. To help you get clear about your version of integrity.
And once you gain that clarity, we will lovingly challenge you to take immediate and inspired action toward that vision of yourself.
Every man in the Junto knows that pursuing his self developed ideal is not only how he builds his own life, but how he inspires the other men in our community to do the same.
If you have questions about our approach or what we are building, please reach out.
And if you know a good man who could benefit from this work, I hope you will send him our way.
Make it so,
Andrew Horn